extablisment

Continued from page 3.

 

 

​We saved the best tip for last! This one tip will cut your Cheeba cost in half or more and housewives are too out of the loop to even know about it despite watching all those tv shows about weed on CNBC.

 

#7:  Buy Top Shelf Shake

 

See, to buy in bulk like a Mexican cartel boss you want to take home a few ounces of your favorite shop's hippie lettuce at once. That's how you earn their respect without having to do any acts of violence. 

 

So look at it this way: what if I told you a dispensary sometimes takes a mix of all its best top shelf products from several different farms and just breaks them into little nuggets and bits of leaf out of pure laziness? What if I said they also throw in the kief that falls off their trichrome-coated buds and some stemmy parts of the same high potency stuff? You might ask "Are you still talking about that high potency grass people are paying a premium for at the other end of the shop, or is this just another attempt at humor?" And I might answer: Yes.

 

What if I also told you that you could buysuch product at a discount of up to two thirds?  Would you for sure finally put me on your Christmas Card list, or at least send me a fruit basket? I bet you would. Yet this is not some kind of crazy old thug wives tale! It really exists, and it is called "Top Shelf Shake".

 

Essentially, a dispensary's Top Shelf Shake is just their best marijuana, that's all.. It's just a little old or got crumbled into small popcorn sized nugs which don't look impressive to customers anymore. Yet this was recently some of their best stuff, ok? If it is a good dispensary they always wind up with too much of it. So in the end they get lazy and just dump what's left of that glittering glass jar into their sad little 'shake' jar and crack open a new package of nugs the size of a baby's arm to impress the customers instead. Their loss of interest is your gain.

 

In fact, the TSS is even better than buying just one strain because the mix of several different premium weeds in there ensures you get an instant variety in every toke. That tends to enhance the sense of potency and makes it harder to increase your tolerance to the stuff since each hit is a potentially new mix. Viola-- you get the same buzz at half the price. Just sit back and inhale the savings. Now that's a spicy meatball!

 

(Our one suggestion is to make sure it's not a jar of stems and brown dust. The brighter green the dust and the more little nugs in there, the better. If they have superior fresh top shelf product, the shake will reflect it).

 

And that's it. That's all it takes to impress your mom with how much money you've been able to save on your vice. Bbe nice, find a reliable farm, dispensary and strain you like, then buy the shake in bulk. Not so hard after all, despite the "man" getting all up in your "grill" about it, right?

 

Perhaps with the passage of Proposition 64 things will become easier and finding the pain and stress relief you seek won't be such a hassle. At least,  the state of California is now in a position to lead the nation and the world in that regard. Let's see how it goes.  

 

One thing we do know: vape pens and concentrates may be the future at least in terms of ease of use in public. (That's for another column). Meanwhile, see below for our list of preferred local dispensaries and elsewhere on our site for a discussion of the legal and PR environment cannavangelists face going forward in California.

 

Extablisment Recommends:

 

Despite the fact that giving away our best ideas for finding the best cheap top shelf Skunk in the area will mean that we won't be able to find it as easy ourselves in the future, we decided to make a few recs for local merchants worth your moolah anyway out of the generosity of our bodhisattva hearts.

 

1. The Charlie Sheen at Ounce Depot Corona

 

Despite the dopey name, this bud is a bargain at a price of $220 an ounce.  This is an excellent hybrid that often gives you an energetic Sativa buzz for a half an hour and then eases into a deepening Indica stone. The sellers are closely connected with the farmers themselves and so can vouch for the freshness and potency of the product.  This outfit is in Corona but they might arrange to visit your area as well. Be careful because some harvests recently have seen plants with increased Indica sleepiness overwhelming the Sativa aspects, so make sure to get some that is Sativa dominant if possible. The growers generally have consistent product, but even so there are variations depending on the harvest.

 

2. General Dispensary:

The Green Kitty
9346 Galena St 
Jurupa Valley, CA 92509

 

3. Or try:

5 Star Greenery
9085 Mission Blvd 
Jurupa Valley, CA 92509

 

Since Upland, Montclair, Claremont, Pomona --aw heck let's just say most of the IE county to county city by city-- have all taken a hard line against honoring the will of the people in their jurisdiction.

Also, these days, it seems many of the IE dispensaries that do pop up often sell weed that gives you a headache, probably from insecticide use. Hence, our new recommendations are further afield that they used to be.
Honestly, it's just get on the 60 freeway and go east ten minutes or something, get off and go a couple of streets over. It's farther, but the quality seems to be higher, fresher, and free of taint. So there's that. Now that it's 2018 you probably can just roll up and buy, too, but just in case always try to get a doctor's rec. That's a little extra time and money but may ensure for now that you get the best of what's out there with little trouble.

 

Sure you can always order delivery, but then you won't really have a choice. Once they're there in your living room, you tend to buy what they are selling even if it isn't the best you've ever seen or something you might have passed on in a dispensary where you have the liberty to walk away or choose something else.

 

All in all, this place is perhaps ever so slightly more expensive than some other shops, but the quality and environment make this the first place I think of when I want to do my weed window shopping.

 

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